White North Face

I saw the backpack you Had in collegeWhen I was getting on this flight. If it was you every pocket Woulda been intentionally unzipped at the top. I used to close them as a joke. I wonder why small things are so Visceral. Backpacks Cars Songs Maybe I should text you. (I won’t)

August

There’s a lot going on. Waves crash fast Tides turn slow Trajectory is confusing. I’m not supposed to know.

Contradiction

Some things are beautiful out of the seeming impossibility, like walking through a snow while looking at a full moon. a strong wave on a glassy lake, or screaming a whisper. one covers the other. maybe there is such a thing as too much beauty. maybe that’s a part of sin, having only one at […]

9, 15, and 16

9. She may be the only person to have read everything I’ve ever written. 15. I had a dream last night that was long and winding and intricate, but what I remember from it most clearly was her smile when we first saw each other. 16. I would have loved her more if I realized […]

Sinning is Pretty Easy

What does it mean to take Your nameIn vain? Is it saying “Oh my God”Out of exasperation instead of praise? Is it saying “Goddamnit”When a tire blows out in the rain? Is that even taking Your name?Is your essence tied to sound? Can we inadvertently call upon youIn order to throw you around? God, you’re […]

For Now, Now That I’m Not With You

I just handed you this to readAnd now I’m on my phone and inThe other hand there’s coffee. Don’t look up,Just keep reading.You can tell I’m uncomfortableWith you reading my writing in front of me. I’m not looking at youSo i won’t see the micro emotions,Reactions i might not want to see. Keep reading,Naturally,Pretend I’m […]

Coffee, Park, House

3 days shouldn’t be enough To make me feel this way. That’s not enough time To give a girl so much control That she didn’t ask for. No tears, Just a big bummer. A chance at the someone different I thought would come eventually. They might not come eventually. That’ll be okay.

4-6

4. I wish I took more pictures. Not that I could look at them. But still. 5. When we first met she said she didn’t know what box to put me in. We’ve laughed about that since, but now I’m scared that she knows exactly what box to put me in. A past one, disappointed […]

Maybe in the Spring

It sounds like rainBut it’s snow on a power line. It feels like painBut it’s been promised I’ll be fine. It all moves so slowly. I’ll be warm again someday.

March 16, 2020

I took the train toA rainy first day of work. We were told moving forwardWe were completely remote. I took the train to a friendTo help her pack. She was moving back homeThe next day. We got too much pizzaBut her dad would eat the leftovers. She drove me back home lateSo I wouldn’t have […]